Every year, I hope to move past the pain and heartache caused by religion and religious people. However, each year only serves as a reminder of why that may never happen due to my diagnosed post-traumatic stress syndrome (RTS – Religious Trauma Syndrome) which makes this time of year extremely difficult for me filled with anxiousness and high alert emotions. My guard is up so high, that I can’t even look inwardly to get to the bottom of these feelings. It’s incredibly frustrating and difficult maintaining an emotional control of the rage, fear, and sadness that hits all at the same time, with multiple levels hitting harder at times than others. I hope for a time I can look past it. I long for a settlement of these emotions, and a true freedom from the harmful, damaging and intrusive thoughts brought on by a childhood raised in a religious envirement that told me I was worthless without the same god that claims my queerness is an abomination.
Leave a Reply